The Short Sweet History of Knuckleberry Finnigan

Here's my story. My no good whore of a momma squatted down and crapped me out on the side of a road somewhere between Floreeda 'n New Hampshire. I was scraped up and thrown in the back o a road kill truck and taken to a sausage factory. Lucky nuff, the manager saw me and thought I might be good at killin' rats, tho i's still just a babe. I killed rats 'n ate rats 'n rat sausage til I was 'bout seven or so, I don know. Then I realized men's just like rats, 'n I started plyin' my pugilistic trade on the docks. I wandered, snappin' necks 'n robbin' gents in between odd jobs, endin' up in the bayous of the deep South. There I learned myself to wrestle gators. When gators weren't nothin' no more I decided to start workin' the pro-fesh-i-o-nal rasslin' circuits around the country. Now I'm settin' down fer a spell here at Frontier Anarchy Grapplin' Syndicate to beat me some nancy ass. I'm lookin' at you Miss Trundle.